Tales from My Internecine Struggle with the IT Department

I begin my descent to the 23rd floor. As I exit the elevator bay at my destination level, a colony of cubicles are laid out in front of me, perfectly aligned as if created by African honey bees. I scan the area and alight East, turning around a corner.

The monstrous IT guy remains motionless just ten feet away. Emotions give way to cognitive thought and I train my glare on him. Almost on cue, he begins his approach.

IT Guys Sleep Upright in Meticulously Crafted Vertical Beds

With blinding acceleration, he lurches onto me with a powerful "thud crackle". He slams into my chest. The impact is incredibly powerful, knocking the wind out of me. His huge arms envelope my complete upper body and I can feel my chest plate move as his beak grinds against it...

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