You: So did I tell you about my portfolio? It's totally kicking ass, and that Oil Conglomerate Search Engine company is going to be the name of my new boat. Also that Commodity Producer Consumer Electronics company has been generating stellar returns over the last 6 months. It's green every day. I should just start my own fund. I AM THE MAN.
You: So I read in the Journal today, [insert anything].
You: [Any story involving golf or fish or boating where someone does not die or at least get maimed by sonar]
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